It’s a mountain out there, Woody

The title of this blog reminds me of an opening sequence I had thought up for “Cheers,” a popular TV show from the 1980s. The show often opened with Norm Peterson, the disheveled and portly accountant, ambling in to the bar to the shouts of “Norm!” from the regular customers, and Woody, the assistant bartender asking how Norm’s day had gone. Norm would answer with something like “It’s a jungle out there, Woody.”

I imagined having a notable figure of that era, General Norman Schwarzkopf , himself an amply-proportioned figure, stride in to the shouts of “Norm!” and Woody asking how his day had gone. The General, after a hard day’s work fighting in Iraq would respond, “It’s a desert out there, Woody!”

If I were to walk in to Cheers, I would say, “It’s a mountain out there, Woody!” after yesterday’s goings-on. To start with, I was leaving the corral area to return to the house when Luke said I had just walked past a rattler coiled up by the side of the barn. I hadn’t noticed it, even though I practically stepped on it. Hilary ran to the house to grab the snake-catching stick and a 5-gallon bucket to contain him. But to no avail, since this snake defied the usual behavior of a rattlesnake by quickly slithering down a hole. Not one to give up easily, Luke managed to snare the snake shortly after. As it was lowered into the plastic bucket, it exhibited another un-rattler-like behavior. The noose was loosened and as Hilary was gingerly sliding the lid onto the bucket, the snake shot out of it like one of those novelty snake-in-a-can toys! Then it quickly made its way to a nearby brush pile as I futilely contemplated the impossibility of snaring a snake that’s running away from me. The noose has to go on the front, not the back end. We all concluded that this guy was the same one we had captured a few weeks ago, and he was wise to our tactics and not about to go through the ordeal again.

We circled the brush pile, which consisted of many small branches left over from cleaning up the mess of a large fallen oak branch. Luke spotted the rattler and got him to rattle by banging a stick on the pile. Then the snake went who knows where and hid. On the other side of the pile we spotted another reptile, a really large gopher snake. Seconds later there was another critter—a bunny! A little rabbit was hiding from the awful humans and feeling safe occupying the same space as two very large snakes!

Later that afternoon Luke came into the house saying we had to see what was happening down the hill. A ground squirrel was latched onto a 3-foot gopher snake and not willing to let go! Luke said he spotted the fight when the snake was wrapped around the squirrel’s body. We frightened the squirrel away and he scampered off. The poor snake revealed his wounds by slowly starting to bleed in about four places along his body. Time to let nature take its course and see if the snake makes it.

Not one to waste an educational opportunity for his new dog, Luke took Bella to see her first snake. The snake struck at and bit her! Harmless, but at the same time, shocking! Bella will now give snakes their own space for sure.

Then later in the afternoon, we spotted one of our horses with a great big wound under its jowl! After examining it, we decided once again to let nature take its course since the wound was very clean and seemed to be okay.

It’s a mountain out there, Woody!