Balls from the land of giant 3-year-olds!

A couple of days ago I bought a bag-o-balls for the dogs. I had been tossing sticks for them to chase, and after a few weeks, we were running out of sticks. Sticks don’t bounce like a good ball, either. In the doggie toys section of the local supermarket the only dog toys they had were squishy soft little sissy things that would only be appropriate for yappy little fuzzball indoor wimp doggies whose ear tufts are adorned with pink ribbons. We have REAL dogs here, dogs that could tear you a new one if you don’t behave. Dogs that love to rub their shoulders in fresh cow pies and proudly march into the house wearing their keen new scent. Dogs that never chicken out of a skunk fight. Dogs that get lots of hosings-off. REAL dogs, to repeat.

The balls were cheap and plentiful at the pharmacy across the street, but came in a curiously-labeled vinyl bag. In large capital letters, buyers are warned: TO AVOID DANGER OF SUFFOCATIONS, [sic] KEEP THIS BAG AWAY FROM BABIES AND CHILDREN FOR PUTTING THE BAG OVER THEIR HEAD. All right, that’s reasonable though I can hardly imagine anyone suffocating by putting a stiff vinyl package over his/her head.

The smaller warning really leaves me mystified though. WARNING: CHOKING HAZARD - Small parts. Not for children under 3 years. These balls are the size of regulation tennis balls. I’ve never seen a three-year-old with a mouth that big!