Simple server

Today Hilary and I struggled to understand how to get database files onto a new remote server, one that’s located way off in the boonies of Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Dallas and Frankfurt. It’s a really good outfit as far as making it so simple to upload data files that even two boondocks dwellers can do it with (literally) one click of the mouse, but we ran into some minor problems that seemed insolvable. Like “How come we can’t see the file we just uploaded on the list of files?” We were doing so many different things regarding Internet addresses, passwords, database addresses, downloading and merging data from the old server, it got confusing. We had sticky notes all over the computer screen, and had a difficult time deciding which of them does what.

Then Hilary got a great idea—“I’m going to call them!” She did. Problem solved. Whew! We now have three databases that are essential to the operation of our business way off in the wilderness safely ensconced in an accessible place. Protected behind firewalls, bombproof walls, heavily-armed security guards, junkyard dogs and secure password-protected hard drives supplied by ultra-redundant power supplies gushing gobs of data on encrypted fiber-optic lines encased in dilithium crystals. We can get to the files using our database program or even the plain old World Wide Web. We’re so proud of ourselves! Did I mention it’s cheap? The first month is free! There’s a discount if you prepay for the year—you get another month free. I mean, who could ask for more?

Wow. Dilithium crystals finally come to the boonies.