A television day

This day was interrupted so many times it’s hard to recall all of it. First off, after getting dressed, I went out and fed the ravens some of our old dry dog food, as usual. I turned on the TV (which I almost never do) and whaddaya know—there’s some big shindig going on in Washington. Huge crowds of people gathering, the Capitol building all dolled up with flags and thousands of chairs on the grounds outside. I fed the cat. Lots of well-dressed people were being escorted down the steps to a seating area behind a specially-built podium. I called to Karla so she could see what was going on. I cleaned the cat’s water dish and refilled it. Lots of former presidents were arriving with their wives and taking seats. Surely some big deal was brewing. I let the cat out. Sure enough, we were getting a new president today. The Chief Justice flubbed his lines during the administration of the oath of office. This was getting good. I let the cat back in. The new president gave a really good speech. Then he and a bunch of others went to a private lunch during which two older senators collapsed to the floor, grasping their chests. The cat jumped up onto Karla’s lap (he never jumps onto mine). The outgoing president was escorted to a Marine helicopter and flew off to Texas. The new one got into an over-six-foot high, 7-1/2 ton limo with doors as thick as a bank vault’s and it seemed to have been stuck in first gear with the brake on; some guys in suits walking alongside were able to keep up easily. The new president and his wife must have gotten really frustrated at the slow-moving car because they got out twice and walked along in front of it. When it got too cold outside, they went back in. I went outside and topped off the bird feeder. When the limo finally arrived at the White House the occupants got a chance to relieve themselves (good grief—didn’t they see the 5,000 portable toilets that lined the streets?). That reminded me; I emptied the cat’s litter pan. Soon they walked to the reviewing stand in front of their new house to watch endless marchers go by. Then it hit me: This is America’s first High Definition President! 1080p! We could see every hair, every pore, every piece of lint on his black coat. He spoke in surround sound. Wow. I’ve got to feed the cat before the dancing starts, ’cause I hear they’re really good.