What were they smoking?

What would you call the cartoon image on the left—a gray-haired woman wearing a crown, ermine cuffs and an ermine wrap with a capital Q on it, and a dopey smile on her face. What could she represent? Certainly not a jewelry firm; crowns are so gauche. Ermine is verboten in our animal-loving fur-hating culture. Her character doesn't tie in with an animated cartoon or comic book. So what could she represent?

Bath Tissue!

Yes, this is the mascot of a major brand of quilted (thus the Q) toilet paper, the same brand as in my previous post. When they picked this figure to adorn their product, what were they smoking? Whatever it was, I would hope at least that it was rolled in their quilted tissue. How could they choose this dippy drawing to represent their brand, especially when there are so many good mascots for other household products. Brawny paper towels got it right with their hunky lumberjack to express the toughness of the product. Mr. Clean's immaculate white outfit reeks of cleanliness. The powdered cleanser, Bon Ami, features a cute little baby chick just emerged from its shell and the punny slogan, "Hasn't scratched yet," setting it apart from its competitors' abrasiveness.

Too bad I wasn't in on the decision. I would have sent the artist back to design a logo showing a coffee farmer stroking the tissue on his donkey.