It had to happen. Houses just don't sit there and be pretty, they get vermin. If it isn't bats spending their nights on the front entry walls, using the place as their wastebasket and toilet, it's nasty little red ants in the kitchen. For two days now, I have been luring these little folks with dabs of grease which I daub onto the wall near their entrance. They gather around the puddles and think they've found the most wonderful picnic ground where the grub is gratis. Well, they're right until I descend on them with a vacuum cleaner and take them for a whirl in its dust cup. Then I go out onto the sunny driveway and dump their grease-sated little bodies onto the hard hot dirt and gloat as they quickly shrivel and pass on to their maker. I thought of flushing them down the drain, but they're awfully good swimmers and would probably be back, all shiny clean.
This routine will continue until I get myself off to the big hardware store and get some advice on what kind of poison to use to keep them in their place.