Electric lion fur

My ongoing investigation of the meteor craters that are appearing under so many trees around here is revealing some very interesting facts. If you’ve ever watched a meteor shower, you probably noticed that meteors almost always come down at an angle. In the photo above I am looking straight up at a hole in an oak leaf that was obviously made by a speeding meteorite. The leaf is exactly parallel to the ground, but the hole in it is an oval which means the tiny particle hit the leaf at an angle, then veered to vertical at the last instant before impact since it made a round, not an oval crater. What could explain this odd behavior?

When I studied electronics, I learned that a magnetic field or an electric charge can deflect a stream of electrons or other tiny particles. That’s the principle involved in the cathode-ray tube, such as a television picture tube. An electric charge attracts the electrons toward the screen, while shifting magnetic fields deflect them back and forth to paint an image. The same principle is illustrated by the pictures below.
The three actors were hit square in the chin by meteorites while watching meteor showers. The craters aren’t at an oblique angle, but perfectly perpendicular to the ends of their chins. What made the meteorites hit straight on instead of at an angle? The men’s magnetic personalities, that’s what! Due to the energetic impact and searing heat of the meteorites, the holes weren’t repairable by cosmetic surgery, so the three actors endured them and actually got to liking their wounds, kind of like how the eyebrow-to-cheek scars from a sword fight make men look more rugged.

No magnetic fields could be detected around the impact craters under the trees, however.

During dry weather, when you pet a cat that’s sitting in your lap, an electric charge builds up. You can move your finger near the cat’s nose or ear and a tiny spark will pop, making the cat uncomfortable but not enough to jump off your lap. (I love to pet cats when the air is dry; I don’t even mind the smell of burnt cat fur.) So this is where the lions mentioned by some readers figure in (although I still reject the suggestions that all the lions are aunts). Lions are covered with cat fur. If they’re resting under the oak trees, and being stroked by bears, their electric charge will be enough to deflect the tiny meteorites to hit the ground perpendicularly, leaving perfectly round craters.

I rest my case.

Pictures of actors: IMDB.com