I’ll drink to that

This being the first day of the new year, here's something for you to make a resolution about. I quit so many years ago, I think smokes were selling for a dime a pack. Maybe a dollar…I forget. Anyway, I'm not making any resolutions for the new year. Maybe I'll be nicer to the cat, but then he only likes me because I'm the one who feeds him. As for the dog, the one who needs a pill every day to strengthen her bladder sphincter so she doesn't pee all over the place, who needs another pill every other day for her adrenal glands, who needs an injection every 25 days for her Addison's disease, and finally some ivermectin for heart worms once a month, well, good luck and be happy that you're darn close to 20 this year. Another year and you'll be able to have a drink. But not in this house—I'm already spending half my life keeping yours going.