Thursday, April 17
I know you’re out there…
I use a feature called Google Analytics to see how many people look at this blog, and where they are, how long they stay on the site, what their bank account numbers and social security numbers and all their passwords are, and everything they do, moment by moment, day by day. Other than that, not much is revealed besides mother’s maiden name, favorite movie, city of birth and that kind of stuff. Today I looked to see how much activity occurred in the last week or so, and discovered a viewer in Beijing, who looked at four pages and spent a total of 3.36 minutes (17.86 decihours metric) on the site. He stands 5'4" (163cm), has a skin temperature of 93°F (34°C), prefers wheat over rice, and has a drinking problem, which probably explains his long time on the site. There’s almost no money in his bank account, and he has three people besides himself to feed, clothe, and house on a pittance. His dog’s name was Din-Din, which it probably became.
I have a reader in Kailua-Kona, Hawaii, whose location is shown as Honolulu which is on a whole ’nother island. Also, I know of readers in Death Valley who don’t show up at all (probably because they connect via satellite), and a couple of longtime readers in Fullerton, California, who are represented as being in North Hollywood. Weird. My loyal Australian reader is shown as being in Brisbane, which is where she plans to move. Hm-m-m. Maybe Google is even more all-knowing than we think. Fullerton readers, get ready to move to North Hollywood!