Wednesday, May 14
Today was a trip to the Big City for a whole SUV-ful of chow for the big horse roundup / hoof trimming / west nile virus / rabies / teeth floating / tail shampooing / rhinoplasty / liposuction / usual stuff we do every year for the horses. This will be happening Saturday (Sunday, Australian metric time). I will try to get over to the corral for some really astonishing pictures, while at the same time manning the barbecue whipping up several pounds (kilos) of tri-tip steaks. I think I’ve figured out how to accomplish both tasks—I will buy a 500-foot, 150-meter flexible plastic tube and tape one end to the barbecue and the other end to my left nostril. I will stick a cork in the right nostril. Therefore if I keep my mouth shut, I will be breathing only through the tube. As long as I smell nicely-cooking meat I can keep up my award-winning photography. When I smell acrid burning-flesh smoke, I will dash back to the barbie and drown the flames. If that doesn’t work, we have about two gallons (7.5 liters) of beans as backup. Plus tons (tonnes) of chips and dip and big chocolate cakes and lots of beer. Should be a real winner no matter what happens!